Week 6 Conversation with my coach, Claudia

The topic between Claudia and I this week centered around suspension and how it relates to mindfulness and being present in all of our conversations.  Both of us seem to struggle a bit with this and we were able to commiserate about how we want to improve so that we can be active listeners as well as active participants in a conversation. 

I talked about how I feel as though I am furthest from a state of "suspension" when I am talking with people that I am closest to.  When the craziness of life settles in and I am talking to my wife or mom it's almost as if I don't care how I am acting or how responsive I am being.  In these cases we do and say things in dialogue that we would never do to someone we just met on the street. And these are the people that we are closest to!  Claudia agreed and told a story about how she often does that with her best friend.  Her best friend will be telling her something important about a relationship or problem that she is having and claudia said that she would feel her mind wander off to thinking about whether or not she did her laundry or which show to watch on television that night.  I felt relieved that it was not just me. 

The conclusion that we came to was that sometimes we let our guard don with people we love and that they deserve better.  One suggestion that she had was making a point to be present before the conversation so that we could be in suspension when it came.  She had the idea that maybe before I called my wife I should be cognizant of clearing my mind and giving her my total attention.  I thought that was a fantastic idea and I am going to try it this week.